Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Growing up poor............

I grew up in a very rural farm community in southwest Tennessee.  My paternal grandparents had bought a farm there in 1942.  After my Paw's death in 1966, Maw divided the land among Daddy and my uncles.  Daddy farmed his acreage and raised hogs, cows, chickens and other assorted species of farm animals. 

We rarely went to 'town' other than to buy groceries when Momma needed something the local country store didn't have or when Daddy needed to take a load of corn to the feed mill to have it ground for cattle feed.  When needed, we made the trip to the county seat.  It was a thrill for me and my sisters to sit in the cab of the pickup as the grain elevator lifted the truck to empty the load of corn into the grinder.  It was like an amusement park ride!

A trip to 'town' was a big affair for us and a somewhat rare occasion.  We put on our best dresses and our school shoes and proudly strutted around like bannie roosters as we made our rounds!  Those are good memories and make me smile just to see us in my mind's eye.

Another favorite memory is the community country store.  It was run by wonderful lady, Mrs. Scott.  She was so elegant and unlike most of the farm women in our community.  She always had her dark raven hair coiffed and wore bright red lipstick and nail polish.  She wore high heels that clicked across the wooden boards and always knew the latest community gossip.  Her dresses were always beautiful and we knew they had come from the large department stores in the 'city'.  As I think about it, she reminded me a lot of Cora Beth Godsey from The Waltons!  Very well dressed and more of a 'city girl' than the other local women.

The country store was wonderful.  They sold gas, groceries, basic clothing items and shoes, household products and had a small health and beauty aids counter.  A large, round 'pot-bellied' stove stood in the back and offered warmth in the winter.  In one of the back corners of the building, a small but well stocked library was located.  It was fabulous! 

There were books of all types, especially children's books.  There was a small table with chairs and a couple of old school desks for us to sit in and browse through the books.  The books were provided by the regional library and could be borrowed as in any other library.  For those of us who loved reading it was pure joy to walk in, sit at the table or in a desk and read the books while deciding which we wanted to borrow for the following week.  I always took the maximum I was allowed.

I spent many happy afternoons sitting in that corner, reading about all the far away places I dreamed of going, about people I longed to meet.  The corner was a little dark and always had a somewhat musky quality in the air, but it was my favorite place to be as a young girl.  In that corner, I could be whomever I wanted to be, go anywhere I wanted to go, have my dreams come true.  In that corner, I developed a love of books that abides today.  I think that's why I haven't been able to commit to buying an eReader.  I just enjoy holding the book in my hands, feeling the texture of the cover.

Then, there was the shopping spree that required nothing more than sitting on the little bank beside the road and waiting for Mr. Howell to bring the mail. Packages from Sears-Roebuck were like rare treasures when Mr. Howell delivered them to our mailbox! They were NEVER allowed to stay in the box; they MUST be removed immediately and taken directly to Momma. Opening those packages was accompanied with squeals of happiness and little girls dancing around the living room holding our new clothes up for all to see! Even the new underwear must be pulled out piece by piece and displayed for everyone to see! I cannot tell you how many times Daddy came in at the end of the day to a fashion show of new underwear, socks, nightgowns and play clothes!

The country store was visited weekly and the 'town' was visited about monthly.  The packages from Sears-Roebuck came about 3-4 times a year.  Once or twice a year, we went into the 'city'!  Oh, what hayseeds we must have looked like when we went into the 'city'!  We always went before Easter because the girls always got a new church dress for Easter.  Momma got one if we could afford it, but the girls always got one!  A new dress and a new pair of summer shoes, usually white sandals.  Oh, and lest we forget, a new pair of white anklets with delicate lace around the cuff!  I know sandals and anklets!  It was Momma's rule, Easter was too early for shoes without socks!

If we could afford it, a second trip to the 'city' came just before school started in the late summer.  The basics would have been ordered from Sears and the shoes would have been purchased in 'town', but the dresses came from the department stores in the 'city'.  If Momma hadn't gotten a new Easter dress, she usually would get a new dress on this trip.  I cannot remember Momma ever having gotten more than one new dress a year until I was 10-12 years old.  In some years, she didn't get a new dress at all.  Daddy's clothing always came from Sears-Roebuck.  He had no time or desire to shop; that never changed!

We didn't have a lot as far as money or possessions were concerned, but we were happy.  Momma and Daddy made sure our needs were met and gave us as much of what we wanted as they could.  We were trained to take care of what we owned.  We had church clothing which came off the minute we arrived home from church.  We had school clothing that came off the minute we walked through the door in the afternoon.  At all other times, we wore play clothes.  We had Sunday shoes, school shoes and flip-flops.
Most of the time, I preferred to go barefoot and would still prefer that but defer to my doctor's direction to wear shoes at all times due to having less than optimal feeling in my feet due to diabetes.

We lived a very simple life.  I complained about it nearly every day of my life until I became old enough to know what a blessed life I had been given.  Our parents loved us completely and made many sacrifices to give us what they could.  We never went hungry or naked and often had the little extras we thought were so important.  We went to church at least three times weekly, said grace before every meal and always sat down at the table as a family for supper every night.  There was no sitting in front of the TV for meals or neglecting chores for games.  Chores were done and done right or there was no TV for you!  As hard as I thought that was, I am so thankful that Momma and Daddy loved us enough to teach us responsibility and respect.

So many times over the years, I have labeled myself as 'growing up poor'.  How wrong I was.  We grew up with riches money cannot buy, with values so often not taught today.  How blessed we were........ and are!  I am so thankful Momma and Daddy taught us the truth of Matthew 6: 19-21.........


19 “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. 21 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.




Saturday, March 31, 2012

And so I walk...........

I stood at my kitchen window this morning just before dawn and looked out over the pastures and wooded areas surrounding my house.  A heavy fog lay over the hills and valleys and drifted off into the woods making it's way on across the woods to the high bluffs along the Hatchie River.

As I stood there watching the mist settling in, or 'laying sot' as my Maw McDonald would have said, I thought what a blessing it is to stand in audience as the Creator God of the Universe displays His pallet before me. 

Terry and I once received great pleasure in visiting galleries to observe the works of artisans in various mediums.  We walked and looked for hours and then spent additional hours sitting in a restaurant talking about the works that impressed us the most and why they did so.  Yet, in all those works, nothing could compare to the works of God in His creation.

Dawn arrived and the mist scattered.  The overcast skies foretold a day of what many would call 'gloom'.  I don't see overcast days as gloomy, I see them as a time to work quietly and take joy in my tasks.  I don't see rainy days as dreary; I see them as a time of washing and renewal.  How many times have you walked among the grassy hills or wooded areas after a rain and thought about, or even commented on, how new and fresh everything felt, looked, smelled?

So it is with the rainy days of our spirit.  I've had a few of those lately.  Things seemed bleak and dreary, as though the clouds and the mists of sadness had 'sot' on my spirit.  Then, a beautiful rainy day with overcast skies comes along and the Lord reminds me that it is a time of renewing for my spirit. A time of reflection and quiet contemplation for me to draw in to Him and rest in His provision.

In my mind I take a walk through my own hills, valleys and wooded areas and rehearse the many ways in which the Lord has carried me right up to that bluff, but never across that river.  My time of crossing that river will come at the day He appointed.  Until then, He reminds me of His love and provision for me and my need for Him.  So often, I'm not a good companion of the Lord.  I'm unfaithful in my thoughts, unfaithful with the way I use my time, unfaithful in the places I allow my heart and emotions to take me, so fickle when He has given only His best for me.

No Scripture quotations today.  From Genesis 1:1 to Revelations 22:1, the entirety of Scripture teaches me and guides me to that intimate and personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  Each verse encourages me to remain faithful and be fruitful, to grow in the Lord, to know He loves me and will walk with me every step of the way, sometimes even carrying me when I cannot walk.

And, so I walk.........IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Motivation.........



 Motivation………what is the meaning of the word? The Merriam Webster online dictionary defines it thus: the act or process of giving someone a reason for doing something; the condition of being eager to act or work; or a force or influence that causes someone to do something. Motivation is a term that refers to a process that elicits, controls, and sustains certain behaviors. (Wikipedia)


What motivates you? What is it that makes you do the things you do? Psalms 86:5 from the New Living Translation says “O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help.” In that same chapter, in verse 11 we read “Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth! Grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor you.”

A process that elicits, controls and sustains behaviors... As I have grown in my relationship with Jesus Christ, I have come to realize that the love of Jesus Christ is, in and of itself, THE great motivator for all who claim His Name. When I consider all He has done for me, not just His death on the cross, but the daily miracles and blessings He places in my path then I am motivated to share that with all who will listen.

At times, I have allowed myself to fall back and question the motivation He shelters in my heart. I struggled with that for years. Recently, my pastor was teaching on spiritual gifts and how we can discover the gifts God has placed within us. Since becoming a Christian at age 11, I had believed my gifts to work from the end of the spectrum that included leadership and administration.

I took the test handed out and discovered my true gifts are wholly different than what I had believed them to be. As I studied the Word and prayed over that discovery, the Lord began to open doors of service for me that I once had no idea existed. I started to see needs in people I met and felt the urging of the Holy Spirit to meet those needs. Hearing the ‘voice’ of the Lord as I went from here to there, I realized that I had become motivated in a refreshing way.

Do you know what your spiritual gifts are? Have you spent real time praying about them and asking the Lord to reveal Himself to you through your gifts? If not, I must tell you that you will understand the concept of motivation from a fresh viewpoint once you allow Him to do so.

Spiritual gifts are discussed in various places in Scripture, Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12, and Ephesians 4 are the most prominent. Study the Scriptures, pray over them with an open heart to hear from the Lord and find your place in His service. I discovered my own place as I learned that I am made by God to work best in these areas: giving, exhortation, mercy, faith and hospitality. If you have access to the internet, this link has been valuable to me in my journey of discovery: http://mintools.com/

As you open your heart to His Word and discover your place in His service, you will reach a degree of CONNECTION with Him you once only dreamed could exist; not only between you and God, but between you and those around you whom you open yourself to.

That is the purpose of our journey here…..CONNECTING on an ever deeper level with our Savior so that we can CONNECT and demonstrate His love to those who so desperately seek Him, often even when they don’t realize they are seeking Him.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Suffering.........





This is a difficult month for me.  January is the anniversary month of my husband's home going.  His last days remain so fresh in my mind and in my heart.  In like manner, the pain also remains fresh.  I have struggled through each January since. 

I have had well-meaning friends and loved ones advise me to "just move forward", or "don't think about it", etc.  All that is within me wants to scream at those people "Don't tell me what to do or how to do it"!  I don't do that because I know they mean well.  However, I wonder how often I have made some one's pain more difficult to bear by taking it too lightly.  I never meant to, I simply didn't know what else to say.  Now, I realize that's exactly what my friends and family are facing with me.  They haven't experienced this loss and they don't know how to help me and that hurts them because they love me. 

They say things to me like "just be thankful you had him while you did", or "at least you didn't have to bury your child; nothing in this world hurts like burying your child".  I am thankful Terry and I had wonderful years together and I will never know the pain of burying my child because I was never blessed with a child that lived. 

I often wonder how those people would feel if I said to them "well, just be thankful you had children, I never had any".  It would be a rude and heartless thing to say.  I never want to make any one's pain deeper or more difficult to bear and I know others don't intentionally do things to hurt me.  Still..............it hurts. 

It hurts when people think that my pain should be less because Terry loved me so completely, because we had 35+ years together, because he was kind and affectionate and good.  Don't they realize that, because of all those things, my pain is worse because I had so much more to lose? 

I don't know how it feels to lose a child that you have held in your arms, loved through childhood, or even seen grow into adulthood; I never will.  I do know how it feels to sit in your doctor's office and hear him tell you that you have lost your baby; the baby you have waited for, prayed for, gone through every imaginable medical procedure and begged God for. I know that pain and have experienced it three times after trying  for over 10 years just to accomplish pregnancy.  I cannot imagine losing a child you have had with you; it must take a piece of your heart away; how could it be any other way?

The truth is that losing someone you love is painful.  Why is it that we want to quantify our pain and make it worse to experience one loss over another?  A friend recently posted on Facebook that a person who loses their partner is called a widow, a child who loses a parent is called an orphan, but a parent who loses a child has no name because there is no word that can describe that pain.  My first thought was "how could you possibly know since you haven't experienced either"?  She has both her parents, all three of her children plus all her grandchildren and three husbands plus a couple of 'friends' she's had along the way.  (You see, I am human and I may not say it, but I sure think it!) 

Why is it that we want to make our own pain worse than any pain experienced by others?  Why can't we just love each other and empathize with each other when we suffer?  Can't we just let pain be pain and loss be loss without trying to make martyrs of ourselves?  How inexcusable must we be before God?  I often wonder if He wants to speak up and say "have you ever given your only Son as a sacrifice for a totally selfish and unthankful human race"?  Hmmmm, why don't we all try comparing our loss to that one?  I don't know about you, but that shuts my complaining mouth in an instant!

How thankful I am that I serve a living God who loves me and understands my pain in a way no human being can.   Even when I'm at my worst, He loves me and has compassion for me without judging my pain.  He accepts me as I am and comforts me in His arms.  What an incredible blessing it is to know Him and to experience His love and acceptance!


In my distress I prayed to the Lord,
and the Lord answered me and set me free.
The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear.
What can mere people do to me?

Psalm 118: 5-6      (NLT)                                     


Sunday, January 8, 2012

God Is My Fortress





Avadon Black Fortress


Some friends and I have been having an online discussion regarding some things that currently unfolding in world events.  We agree it is fulfillment of Bible prophecy that these things are happening.  We cannot control current events or how nations and governments conduct themselves.  However, we have the best resource available when our world troubles us.........the living Word of God.  It matters not how events develop, our God remains in control. 

As a Christian, I find solace and comfort in that.  My ending is established in the throne room of heaven.  I have nothing to fear.  Praise God for an election made sure on the day I asked Jesus Christ to reside in my heart and to cleanse me from sin.  Bad things and bad people will be in my life and in yours.  Does your soul have a place of comfort and refuge?  If not, may I introduce you the the King of Glory?  He is the answer when it seems your world is falling apart.

A Mighty Fortress Is Our God, a hymn with both lyrics and melody composed by Martin Luther, was written by Luther between 1527 and 1529.  It is a basic paraphrase of the 46th Psalm.  This hymn has been dear to my heart for many years.


A Mighty Fortress Is Our God

A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing;
Our helper He, amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing:
For still our ancient foe doth seek to work us woe;
His craft and power are great, and, armed with cruel hate,
On earth is not his equal.

Did we in our own strength confide, our striving would be losing;
Were not the right Man on our side,
the Man of God’s own choosing:
Dost ask who that may be? Christ Jesus, it is He;
Lord Sabaoth, His Name, from age to age the same,
And He must win the battle.

And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed
His truth to triumph through us:
The Prince of Darkness grim, we tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure, for lo, his doom is sure,
One little word shall fell him.

That word above all earthly powers, no thanks to them, abideth;
The Spirit and the gifts are ours through Him Who with us sideth:
Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also;
The body they may kill: God’s truth abideth still,
His kingdom is forever.


I pray all will have a blessed Lord's Day.  What a joy to know God is my fortress and I have nothing to fear!



“Be still, and know that I am God!
I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world.”
The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
the God of Israel is our fortress.

Psalm 46: 10-11   (NLT)